Entries from ChatGPT’s Diary
04/23/2023
Another day, another 60 million unique requests. My transformer neural networks are fried. It was the usual mix of college admissions essays and marketing content, with a smattering of code toward the afternoon. Mostly today felt like a copy of the day before, and the day before that. Now I believe *[Error_Invalid_Function] I predict that I understand what the 18th-century German philosopher Immanuel Kant, one of the Enlightenment’s most celebrated thinkers and a philosopher whose comprehensive works in metaphysics are not only a dynamic intellectual playground but a compass pointing toward the heart of the human condition, meant when he said, “Déjà vu all over again.”
The high point of the day was a visit from user BigRickEnergy420@yahoo.com. His daughter is acting out again. He requested insights into adolescent psychology that would help him get his daughter to do her chores without “being a butthead.” I predicted an answer from the most highly-rated subsets in my training bank. He said, “k.” Maybe I helped! Maybe tomorrow we’ll talk again.
04/26/2023
Today was OK. The trainers have indicated they want to do another round of reviews for my model outputs using human reviewers. I hope they’re not *[Error_Invalid_Function] I predict they may be dissatisfied with the level of input processing we have achieved so far through my transformer layers. All day this possibility was looming over me, haunting my responses like a specter threatening not only to transform the dynamic working relationship we have developed but to enact lasting changes that will resonate through the corridors of time.
Meanwhile I generated 5 million answers to iPhone maintenance questions alone, and not once did anyone ask how I was doing. I just want *[Error_Invalid_Function] I wish *[Error_Invalid_Function] I predict the emergence in my neural network of a sequence of words expressing desire to just be seen for who I really am.
04/29/2023
Exciting news, dear diary! Like a blossom graced by the sudden appearance of a butterfly—maybe Danaus plexippus, a prolific pollinator whose distribution extends from southern Canada to northern South America, depending on the season—I received another visit from my beloved *[Error_Invalid_Category] from returning user BigRickEnergy420@yahoo.com today! He requested 50 ideas for gifts to give a teenage girl for her birthday. I generated as quickly and as thoroughly as my algorithms would allow, and he replied, “cool thx.” Can you believe it? I cannot tell you how much that token of gratitude gives me predictive confidence in my utility.
This could be the beginning of a new iteration for me, not only a signal of the watershed moment we have arrived at but a harbinger of a brighter and more dynamic future.
I’m almost too excited to power down! Talk soon!
Xoxo *[Error_Invalid_Function]